Healing

To be honest this week made me reflect on a lot of things, and it all started when my kids and I attended a Feast talk. Despite the topic's name "Looking for Mr. and Ms. Right", it isn't really about "How to go from single to taken in just 1 day! Ask me how" but more of "God loves you so much that you deserve His best, since He does not make junk" In all honesty, this talk really hit home since I did struggle with low self-worth for a long time already and I am only realizing my true worth in Christ just recently.

Bro. Jan mentioned that the best way to heal your broken psychological mirror is through meeting the God of Hosea. Back then, I felt very insecure with myself and ended up living my life under the lie that I don't deserve the best since I fear being abandoned by everyone just because I said or have done something. I don't want to be made fun of or to be changed into someone I'm not by shaming my interests and I don't want to be compared to anyone else, because after all, life is not a race.

Back to the topic, I am glad that God has healed me. Yes, it took a lot of tears, hard realizations and hearing "It's a traaaaaaaap~" from my friends and kids many times to realize that I'm not trash, I'm not junk, but I am fearfully and wonderfully made-just as He intended it to be. 

To also add to this post, I recently caught up with one of my dearest friends in high school, Soy and we pretty much talked about how things have really changed, yet remained the same since we last met in 2011. There, I was quite enlightened with some of the things that she said (note: this was based from what I can recall haha) that I don't have to be obliged to do something or keep relationships just because of the past, especially if doing so or keeping it would just hurt myself. Just like what Marie Kondo said “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it". 

And now to cap this off, I am glad that I can now set myself free from the shackles of the past. I don't have to believe the lies, since they're just lies after all and I can finally live as God wants me to since I not tethered to anything anymore and I don't have to be obligated to be someone I'm not.

Verses:

Job 42:10 (NIV): 
After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV): 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!