A Letter to myself

The title says it all..

Dear ________,

It's just a week before your birthday and I know you're a bit nervous about the next part in your life. I just wanted to write this letter to myself since I wanted to list a bunch of lessons I have learned during this decade, but I can't organize the lessons and they just seem to be related to each other anyway. Pardon me though if the next statements would be a bit tough...

First of all, I would probably tell you that friendship is not always the solution to your loneliness and you need to address your childhood trauma instead of expecting other people to fill up that void in you. I know your childhood was lonely and it hurts like hell, but I also know that healing is possible. 

Second, you need to know that friendship is NOT a title you can freely give to just anybody. Just like what Jesus said in the Bible:

Matthew 7:6 NKJV

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.

The designation of being a friend is precious and not everyone you meet is your friend. Some people will not care about you, not because you're bad-but because you won't click with them and some will just take advantage of your kindness-either way, those are signs to flee. If you try forcing the title of friendship on them, it will just hurt you as we have both learned so many times before.

Again, it's better to be alone than to be stuck with the wrong group of friends. Don't force yourself in relationships if they don't want you, after all-you deserve better so don't call people who make you feel like trash "friends" 

My third tip is to enjoy every moment in life, don't let the past get to you. Right now, it's probably the meds speaking to me-but yes, it's better to savor and enjoy the present as it is. Look, whenever you think of something-it's usually the crappy past. Let's change that narrative that when you look back, you will find happy and joyous memories along with the difficulties you have conquered. I guess this relates to the trend of "glimmers" which are like triggers but they work in reverse. At this point, I'm just rambling and if you want to look at the meaning of glimmers, just check it in FB or something hahahaha

The fourth lesson is to realize that you are NOT a bad person just because you made a mistake. Your actions won't always define you, and the thing is there's always room for change. You may be problematic right now, but always remember this...the only thing constant in life is change, and you can change. The only kicker? It will start with you, no one else will tell you to change. They can only sow the seeds, but you will be the one to take action. 

I know this is difficult, because we are very harsh on ourselves but please remember that you are worth more than your actions; that's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

And now for the fifth one, it's better to be yourself than to be somebody else. So for this portion, I decided to bring up the late Mike Enriquez for the nth time because he actually imparted a lot of lessons while he was still alive. The thing is, Mike Enriquez started his career as a news anchor during a time where anchors were expected to be prim, proper and serious. Mike obviously broke thru those walls in news reporting and that's how he gave birth to his signature style of reporting and paved the way for other aspiring reporters to bring their own style when it comes to reporting. 

If Mike Enriquez probably imitated his contemporaries during that time, I can't really say if he will succeed or not, but it will probably not work. Again, I hope you get the message that it's better to be you than to be somebody else. I know some people will probably try to compare and shame you, please don't listen to them. They don't know who you really are, and even if they claim that they know you...don't listen to them since a person who will truly appreciate you won't kick or demean you. They will gently correct and guide you without making you feel like trash.

Always remember this, you may be disabled but you are not defective, just different. If the world does not see that yet, then please don't blame yourself or wish that you were like everyone else. 

And lastly, it's okay to stay in the glass bubble-but don't stay there too long or you'll suffocate both literally and figuratively. As for the purpose of the first two lessons, they are there to protect you even without the glass bubble. The thing is, you will still get hurt-but I hope that doesn't deter you from living and being in the company of others. After all, we are not perfect and just like what I have said, there's always room for change. 

So that's it, I guess I rambled a lot-but I hope you appreciated this, self. After all, you are worth it even if you don't feel it and I know we will achieve healing one step at a time.

You've got this _____!,

From yourself.